so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Holy shit dude........stairs
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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