I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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