fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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