You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
