I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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