Non-Jews are for practice
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
