I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
