please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
