This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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