is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
