He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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