They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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