Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she smelled like a LAN party
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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