At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
