I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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