Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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