It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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