I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
