She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
