I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
