This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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