I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she peed on how many people?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
