We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
