I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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