I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
