Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
