I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
