True but thats because hes a fetus.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
