is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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