i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
