hotel room ftw
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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