My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
