Im at strip club and am horny
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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