literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
