I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
one might say we're banned from that church
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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