1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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