Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
