dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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