Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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