holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
