If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
