does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
