She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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