who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
