you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Farmville is her only friend.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
