Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
