Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
