stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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