Welp...herpes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
