we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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