that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
