Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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