you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
